The Original JT Photography

This entry really has nothing to do with anything. It shouldn’t even be on this site. If I actually gave a rats ass, I’d start a new blog site for the sole purpose of venting my personal ups and downs. But, since this site is about my “art” and since art is supposed to reflect life… who am I to separate the two?

I’m honestly tired of talking about my past relationship but it wears so heavy on me that I think the only way to shed the weight is to exorcise the hauntings. The only way, I think, I can accomplish this is to “talk about it”. Of course, I’ll probably get tired of typing this shit long before I make any significant point(s) – especially since I’m typing on a damn iPhone at 3:45am.

Its 3:46am on a Saturday. I’m in bed, wide awake, trying jockey for position and secure a comfortable amount of real estate from my 130lbs puppy. I’m 42yrs old, 6’5″, 230lbs and my 14month old puppy generally wins the lions share of the bed because I think he’s too cute to wake up. This is what my life has become? Or, is this a sign of a fundamental issue that has lead my life to where it is? I tend to think that later.

I’ve always been one to dwell on random shit but this is the first relationship that has completely fucked my head up. It’s really pissing me off but I guess it’s just one of those things in life that you have to ride out until its out of your system – quite annoying. I thought dating would help but it seems to only make matters worse.. “because I still have that other girl in my head..” I’ve been seeing a really wonderful girl – smart, beautiful, talented, caring, down to earth, not American (yes, that’s a plus in my book), loves my dog… possibly loves me… yet I cant help but pull myself away from someone (anyone) who is obviously good for me. I spend my days playing Queensryche’s “I don’t believe in love” on endless repeat.

Yeah, I’m done with this for now…. I should try to get some sleep..